Good Night Sweet Girl
by me-luv-GH
Summary: Fanfic from Jason POV as he watches Courtney


** A/N:** Still working on SPIRAL, but I love this song and I heard it while I was uploading my story and I thought that it is perfect for the angst that is journey. So, I came up with a fic for it. It's gonna be Jason POV and what he's thinking while he's watching Courtney. Keep in mind none of this jasam that makes my eyes bleed has happened. (once again I apologize to jasam fans but you should prob learn now that nothing I write will be good for them or her.)

** Disclaimer: **not mine, right now w/ the way things are going I'm kinda glad. Well on the other hand I would take it now so I could fix it.

* * *

It's a cool night. The perfect type of weather for a walk or a bike ride. But every time I ride the damn motorcycle I can feel her arms around my waist. Trusting me with her safety on such a powerful machine. I take a walk through the park and I can feel her hand in mine. Her soft, slender fingers entwining themselves with mine. It's driving me crazy.

At first I'm not sure if I heard it or just imagined it. But it is impossible to imagine such a beautiful sound. She's laughing. I follow the angelic sound and find myself hiding in the bushes near the gazebo. What a slap in the face. I should just turn and leave, but instead I stay in my hiding spot and watch that slick Aussie bring a smile to her face. A smile I used to have the honor of seeing everyday. It makes me angry, upset, and depressed. But most of all it makes me wonder. Does it mean it's truly over?

_Are we done for now,_

_Or is this for good,_

_Will there be something in time?_

_With us there should._

It can't be truly over. We barely had a chance to begin for it to be done so quickly. But she seems to be happy. With someone else. I know that I'll never be able to move on. Not truly. Not completely. Probably not ever.

_Only girl for me is you_

_There can be no other one_

_If I didn't have faith_

_I would come undone_

I can still see that day in France. The day we swore ourselves to each other in front of God and family. That was the only day in my whole life that I allowed myself to look at the future. And it looked bright and glorious. Full of a love none could match. I could see it in her eyes that day. She saw the same thing I did.

_So much promise in your eyes_

_Seems that I can only see_

_It always makes me wonder_

_If you save it all for me_

When did that look fade away? When did that perfect vision become nothing but a silly memory in a marriage of complication? She tried so hard to talk to me that night. The night we came so close to what we both wanted so badly. But I wouldn't listen. I was blinded my the hurt of her actions and in turn I hurt her. Signing those damn papers and slamming the door in her face.

_Maybe you do_

_Maybe you don't_

_Maybe you should_

_Probably wont..._

Now she was moving on. Or attempting to, at least. She can try all she wants but I know that no one could ever love her the way I do.

_Because there will be..._

If it were not Jax, it would be someone else. I said that I just didn't trust Jax, but the truth is I wouldn't trust any other man with her. No matter who I would never be okay with it.

_There will be other guys_

_Who will whisper in your ear_

_Say they'll take away you sadness_

_And your fears_

Then again, if she never loves another as she loved me it would mean she would never be as hurt as she was with me. She wouldn't have the pain that she held in her eyes towards the end. I put that there. Only because I refused to take it away. To make the compromises that could have saved us.

_They may be kind and true_

_They may be good for you_

_But they'll never care for you_

_More than I do_

I'm the ex. The tried and failed of her past. She said there would always be a place in her heart just for me. What I didn't tell her was my whole heart was for her and her alone. Not just a place in it or a piece of it. The entire thing. But for now all I can do is let her be and be a shoulder in the event she needs one.

_I'll be always there_

_There to the end_

_I can't do much_

_But be your one true friend_

He's talking to her, going on about what he sees in her. The leaves rustle around me as a breeze blows through. She shivered. Just barely but I saw it. Did he? No, he's still going on and on about something or other. I stopped listening. I wish I could go over and punch him simply for not offering his jacket. I always did. The slightest goose bump and I had my warm leather draped over her shoulders.

_To the end_

_Through the end_

_Our lives to spend_

_With each other till the end_

_Of time..._

Now the playboy from down under has kissed her goodnight and left. Alone in the park. She's smiling when he looks back and it turns my stomach that he's the one to put that glowing feature on her perfect face. But there's something else. Once he left she turned towards me and for a moment I think she knew I was there. Instead she just looks out into the plants. The smile is gone. Like it was never there in the first place. She's looking at her hand. The one that I placed her ring on, following her example I look down at my own bare finger. I can hear the sigh she lets out, and see the tear that escaped down her cheek.

I can see it. Clear as day, and I could smack myself for not seeing it sooner. As good an actress as she is, she's not happy. Not with him. She carries the same look on her face at that moment that I used to see each time we ran into each other in the time after she moved out. Sadness, yearning to come home but knowing she can't. Not to the same home, she can't change who she is and I wouldn't want her to. It means there is a chance.

_Still see the promise in your eyes_

_And still wonder if it's for me_

_But I know it's still there_

_Even when you sleep_

Now? If I went out there right now, and offered my hand would she accept? There is only one way to find out. So, I swallow the lump in my throat and ignore the loud beating of my heart and prepare to lay down everything I have in hopes of coming away a winner. She wipes away the tears on her cheeks and I can hear her whisper to the night.

"Sweet dreams Jason."

Then she turns and walks away. I stand to my full height and prepare to call out to her. To bring her back to me. But something stops me. Probably the knowledge that I can't bring her back with nothing better to offer. I can't reintroduce her into a life that would pull her down. Not until I make some changes. Until I do, I have no right to ask her. Until I do, I can only watch.

_So I say, good night sweet girl _

** A/N: Song Credit: **Song credit: Good Night Sweet Girl, by Ghost of the Robot. If you haven't heard it I suggest you do. It's _real_ good. Tell me what you think.


End file.
